.....continuing through my journey of 2 Chronicles 20......
The second half of Jehoshaphat prayer states his position and problem. He names his enemies and the problem is that they are trying to push the Israelite's out of the promised land. The land that God gave them.
I may not be dealing with physical enemies, but my enemies are just as real and they are just as pushy----they are trying to push me out of the inheritance God my Father has for me. My inheritance as His child. My access to His grace and strength.
Fear, doubt, apathy. These are my enemies' names. These have crossed the boundary lines and are encroaching on my 'pleasant places'. I feel as though I have been pushed to a precipice and one more push will send me into a whirling vortex of which I will never escape.
So I, too, stand before the Lord and state, 'I have no power to face this attacking enemy. I do not know what to do, but my eyes are upon you.'
This is where I am. At the edge of something scary. I do not know what to do or where to go. I am powerless. I can either give up and give in or stand with my eyes upon the One who holds all power in his hands.
Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear of what people think. Fear of disappointing people. Fear of my family not turning out the way I pray for. Fear of rejection, which ties into disappointing people. Fear of not being worthwhile. Fear that once people see the real me they will run as far away as possible. Fear that I am a fake. Fear that I have the wrong motives. Fear that my dreams will not be full-filled. Fear. It rules my thoughts and my actions. It whispers to me during the night and it haunts me during the day. This is the enemy I contend with.
Fear robs me of joy. Fear robs me of worship. Fear robs me of an intimate relationship with my husband, my children, and my God. My enemies name is fear.
I know that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love and power (2 Tim 1:7). However, this enemy has grown out of proportion and it is time to throw up my hands and cry to my Savior, 'I can't do this, I don't know what to do, I am powerless against this, My eyes are on you.'
So I wait. I wait with my eyes focused on my Jesus. And as I go throughout the day, I look to Him.
And it is time. It is time to take up the battle position and for that I wait upon the Lord. Waiting for His guidance. It it time for this enemy to be conquered once and for all. I am so weary of being pushed around and the enemy gaining ground. It is time for it to be defeated.
2 Chronicles 20:12....'I do not know what to do, my eyes are fixed on you.'
....to be continued....