....continued from last week....
It is hard to name those enemies. It is easier to place all the blame on myself. 'I am weak. I am undisciplined'. But, do you see what that does? It contributes to my sense of despair. It keeps me on the hamster wheel of never, ever being good enough. Of never, ever feeling like I have the victory. My head tells me that there must be others like me out there. There must be more women who struggle, but we put on such a 'happy' face and off we go. Trying to stay one step ahead of those voices, one step ahead of being overtaken.
But something happens. Pretty soon you get to a place where there is no where else to go. I can fall into the swirling vortex or turn and stand with my eyes before the Lord lifting up my voice, throwing up my hands, admitting that I can do no more.
It was in that moment that Jehoshaphat and the Israelites heard God's voice.
2 Chronicles 20: 15-17, 'He said, Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the desert of Jeruel. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. Go out and face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.'
If I believe the the Lord speaks to me through His word, then I can hear him saying to me: 'don't be afraid, don't be discouraged, yes the army is vast but it is my battle. Take up your positions, stand firm, and watch me deliver you. Don't be afraid, don't be discouraged, face this battle, and I will be with you'.
I find it oddly reassuring that he says the enemy is vast. It is reassuring in the fact that if affirms that he really does see. Because frankly, the army feels very vast.
The question that rises to the surface of my heart is: 'what is my position to be? Where do I need to be positioned in order to stand?'
....continuing the journey through 2 Chronicles 20....
Blessings upon you,
Jess
